I shouldn’t be here.
I can’t even remember now the first time I tried to kill myself.
I just know that each time that I tried, I failed. Once because I didn’t have enough pills, but mostly because something shook me out of it.
When I lost my mum, I was deadly serious in succeeding. I had enough pills. I had written a letter to the police telling them what I had done. I had my will in place, and all the papers for my finances set up in the living room, so I didn’t leave a mess behind.
This time it was over.
I don’t need to explain what got me through it, the picture might be a clue, but I got through it.
I got amazing support from Cruse, I got the right medication, and now I don’t need either.
Today I turn 40. My 16 year old self would never fucking believe it.
HUGE thanks to Bronson Twine for doing the picture for this post, truth is, I couldn’t have done this justice. You used to be able to find him at http://irregularguy.wordpress.com/, but mostly you’ll find him on plurk being awesome.
Nails: A.S.S / Black Drama / Black French
Hair: Exile / Evan / Stefani
Skin: Glam Affair / Mokatana / Arctic 07
Outfit: Kauna / Military Jacket
Eyes / Mayfly / Deep Sky Eyes / Darkest Onyx
Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Hands / Casual
Pose: PDA / Black Cab