Because the world will never take my heart

I shouldn’t be here.

I can’t even remember now the first time I tried to kill myself.

I just know that each time that I tried, I failed.  Once because I didn’t have enough pills, but mostly because something shook me out of it.

When I lost my mum, I was deadly serious in succeeding.  I had enough pills.  I had written a letter to the police telling them what I had done.  I had my will in place, and all the papers for my finances set up in the living room, so I didn’t leave a mess behind.

This time it was over.

I don’t need to explain what got me through it, the picture might be a clue, but I got through it.

I got amazing support from Cruse, I got the right medication, and now I don’t need either.

Today I turn 40.  My 16 year old self would never fucking believe it.

jo1

HUGE thanks to Bronson Twine for doing the picture for this post, truth is, I couldn’t have done this justice.  You used to be able to find him at http://irregularguy.wordpress.com/, but mostly you’ll find him on plurk being awesome.

Nails: A.S.S / Black Drama / Black French

Hair: Exile / Evan / Stefani

Skin: Glam Affair / Mokatana / Arctic 07

Outfit:  Kauna / Military Jacket

Eyes / Mayfly / Deep Sky Eyes / Darkest Onyx

Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Hands / Casual

Pose:  PDA / Black Cab

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Because the world will never take my heart

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: